Your colleagues are not your friends

I have learned this the hard way. People who work with you are not your friends. People only form bonds with you to proof to the bosses that they are team players. Nobody goes to work with the aim to make friends. Everybody goes to work to make money. Colleagues can be highly ambitious and competitive. Excessive ambition can lead to animosity, and it is what one should look out for.

It is true that some meaningful and lifelong friendships have been made at work but for most people it is not the case. Some people even found their life partners at work which transformed into beautiful marriages. I am not talking about those types of friendships. What I refer to are those "Buddy this. Buddy that. Oh let's have lunch tsomi" types of friendships that are not real at all. People will call you friend at work as long as they are close enough to you to see what you are doing and what they can benefit from you. Some so-called friends are there to steal your ideas. Some will stab you in the back without thinking twice if it means that they can score a promotion for doing that.

People will use you for their benefits and will eat you for lunch when you are not around. Be careful of what you share with your colleagues. Sometimes you get so comfortable with each that you overshare. You tell each other about family issues, finance and issues with your partner. Some colleagues are there to find your weakness to use them against you. Know that Judas was once Jesus' friend but look what he did to him. Some are just gossipers, they tell you about others just to tell the others only what you said.

Be careful about who you allow near you. Keep your distance but remain civil and keep to your work station. Remind yourself about the reason why you are there. Stop letting people into your office. You have no idea how much envy someone has towards you. Some people are there to spy on you. People want you to do well but never better than them. Don't expect people to be genuine because you are. Know that just because you respect boundaries and others feelings that they will do the same. Know when to say no and how much you are sharing. Some colleagues are lions in sheep skin.

Your co-workers are not your friends but that does not mean that they are your enemies either. You are allowed to ask help or opinions from others with regard to work but be careful about what you disclose to them. Be a team player and develop good interpersonal skills. Be respectful but be mindful that others may not respect you the same way. Do not be over emotional about every incident. Avoid unnecessary confrontation and conflict. Sometimes all you need is to walk away.