You reminded me...

When our eyes locked, too long for people who are just acquaintances, I recognized that look and it brought a string of memories. Suddenly everything became familiar, your scent, your voice, your gaze, your touch, everything played off in my mind in slow motion. And you reminded me of how you broken you left me when you discarded and walked away from me like I never mattered. For a very long time I have loved you still. I have loved you with everything inside me. I remember how I poured all of my love into you as you let it ran all over you, even when you didn't want it. I blindfolded myself from your reality and painted you in a beautiful color that stands out. I wrote and wrote and wrote love letters to you that you would never read and I would never send, until I convince my pen and paper of how wonderful you are. I buried you deep inside my poems so that no one else could find you. You marked your territory in public places as you wined and dined me in style but pushed me away in private. I have always been your cushion to lay your head on whenever you needed to bleed and I wiped your tears away. I have began to think that something was wrong with me, like I was not good enough and like I was not worthy of your love. I asked myself if I was not doing enough or what it was that I was lacking. Those were my lullabies because until I have convinced myself that I was the problem I would never sleep. I thought I have healed and that nothing you say or do now is ever going to take me back to that place you left me until you reminded me. I have realized that I have not completely heal all the cracks in me. I have not reached the end of my healing journey yet. I never thought that you will crawl out of that door I shut long ago. You reminded me that I still have a long way to go before I heal fully from the hurt yo caused me.