2022 in a nutshell

As the year has come to the end it is only fitting to give my sum up of what 2022 was for me and lessons I have learned during this year.

When this year started I entered the office strangely unstable, there was a dark cloud hanging all over that made it even worse. I found myself questioning how to move on and with what. The pandemic has taken so much of me, it took my zeal for life, it wiped off my sunshine bright smile,

it took away my confidence and it replaced it all with fear, anxiety, depression, uncertainty, confusion and loss. In the beginning of this year, I often looked at myself not knowing who I was anymore evoking a deep search of myself.

This feelings stuck to my skin and later crept right under it and nuzzled. At first, I told myself that it'd be best to get used to who I was at that moment - a stranger to myself - everything I did nd even said was that of someone else, a ghost that has stolen my body. However, there was this constant inner voice that kept telling me to find myself and bring me back before I complete forget who I was.

The search has begun. This meant, looking deep and hard. It was not a pleasant exercise. Lots of pain, anxiety and days of depression. Losing friends and loved ones and days of crying. Finding yourself means to uncover yourself from the layers and layers that dressed you like an onion as you shrink away deep inside of them. First you have to get naked, unbecome before you can become.

The first stop is forgiveness and healing. It took me months to pin point the roots of my pain, anger and fear. Well, the inherent strength that seems sometimes invisible and non-existent while other time extremely loud and visible in everywhere has always been the driving force in my quest to self discovery.

I had to revisit my past and took a trip through all the various experiences both good and bad and re-evaluate them. Where the lessons I could take away to apply on my path to healing and finding myself? Where there experiences that required forgiveness and could I forgive without apologies but mostly, could I forgive myself? Next was how I would move on.... could I do that by cutting off some things and people? Yes, I had to. Some routes are best taken alone.

Slowly, I started seeing me, not through my eyes but through others who tirelessly reminded me of who I really was. Slowly my the veils on my eyes started peeling. Finally, I could see ME for who I was.

I woke up one morning and looked into the mirror and something magical happened. There she was, fluttering, skin glowing, body looking healthy and strong oh the smile, wow the smile lit up the whole face and eyes were alive. I couldn't help but whisper, "She is back"

It certainly feels good to see myself for who I am. Realizing that all that I have experience had to be done only by myself. The paths I crossed were meant to reach me because either I needed something from them to take along my path or there was a lesson I had to learn. I have learned so many lessons.

One of the greatest lessons of 2022 is to love myself a whole lot more, to give myself credit and to realize how great I am. That I have lived a life of inspiring others, been and still is a role-model, that I am an mazing, intriguing, intelligent, talented, smart, gorgeous woman who is capable of anything I set my mind to. I am able to achieve so much more that I can imagine. I am a trend setter, an educator and a heather

Most of all, I a gracious, elegant and extraordinary Queen! And I am back with a bang. Refined and Reincarnated!